Those of you who knew my father know that he wasn’t the biggest fan of having his picture taken. And those of you who know my mother know that she loves to take pictures of us. We have mostly yielded in recent years to her requests with the caveat that she does not post them on social media. Sometimes, she abides by this request.
Recently I have found myself going through my camera roll. It feels wrong that I have to go back months to find pictures of my dad. Many of those pictures I noticed were ones that I did not want to be in, nor did I like at the time of them being taken. However, as I look at them now, regardless of my feelings about how I think I look, I am glad my mother made us take them. I am glad my sister takes silly videos that mostly annoy me when she sends them because now I realize I can hear my dad’s voice talking to the dog in the background. I am glad that my mother made us put our hands around each other and smile while we stood in the cold waiting for our Christmas tree to be cut. And I am glad that I take seemingly unimportant pictures now of the people and things that I love, despite them taking up so much cloud storage.
Something my father always taught me was to slow down and enjoy the present; to stop trying to run full force ahead into the next stage. He always encouraged my varied ambitions, but didn’t want me to “wish my life away.” I am trying to do that now: remind myself of all I have worked hard to achieve, enjoy the “small” moments with friends and family and capture them both mentally and photographically. And I am especially trying to remind myself that I don’t need to take these pictures to post on social media to prove that I have friends and a life where I do fun things. No one actually cares or notices if you post anyway.
So here is my advice to all of the middle school girls who won’t listen anyway: let your mom take the picture. Stand next to your siblings on Christmas in your matching pajamas and pretend you’re not pinching each other behind their back. Take the pictures yourself — not just to post them, you don’t NEED to post them. And if you do, post them because you want to preserve something that makes you happy. Take the random pictures of the sunset, and the smoothie bowl you had on Sunday with your friend, just to keep for later. You never know in a few years how much you might treasure it.
Thanks you for sharing this Lauren and Jane. As a long-time single dad it made me want to run to take photos with my children:).
And I didn’t realize your husband had passed Jane. I’m so very sorry and I am sending hugs and prayers. Here anytime. Andrew Entwistle
so much good advice here. Thank you Lauren!